


In-between

by MedievalEnchanted



Series: Thirteen & River - into the stars [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Grief, LGBTQ, Lesbian Thirteenth Doctor, Love, Valid Emotions, back together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27079243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MedievalEnchanted/pseuds/MedievalEnchanted
Summary: Originally posted on Tumblr: Anonymous asked:"It's my fault she died." //. Tumblr account: Thirteenbiriver
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/River Song
Series: Thirteen & River - into the stars [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976347
Kudos: 28





	1. It's my fault she died - Part 1

  
  


“Doctor? What’s wrong?” Yaz asked watching the doctor sitting by the console of her Tardis, with what looked like a photograph in hand.

The blonde doctor didn’t need to say anything, Yaz sat beside her, grabbing her hand and squeezing gently “Who was she?”

“She was…” The doctor looked up at Yaz, with such heartache and so much love for this person she was about to open up about “She was amazing. She was something else, beautiful, a Queen in her own right, a badass with a gun, hell in high heels.”

“She was important to you?” Yaz asked

“Yes, she was, Yaz she is...was my wife.” The doctor smiled, reminiscently down at the photograph she was clutching of the two of them.

“What happened?”

“She died.” The doctor suddenly stood up putting the photo in her pocket.

“Whoa who whoa…” Yaz followed, grabbing at the doctors arm “You can’t do that doctor! You can’t just bottle up all your feelings when you don’t want to talk about”

“Oh really? Just watch me.” The doctor huffed walking round the console of the Tardis.

Yaz went the opposite way round “Because you may be an alien, who is over a 1000 years old, but your emotions are still valid and still worth something, it’s okay to be emotional and to talk about them.” Yaz smiled softly as she reached the doctor looking at her gently, not wanting to push but needing for her to understand that if she wanted to talk, she would be heard.

“It’s my fault she died.” The doctor trembled, trying to keep it together. “Her name was Melody Pond, she became my bespoked psychopath... River Song. The only water they have in the gam-a forests is a river… and so her name became translated to River Song. My wife, the love of my life and I didn’t always show her how much I truly loved her and I just-”

“You worry she didn’t know how much you loved her?” 

“She died when I didn’t even know her.” The doctor replied “I didn’t have a clue who she was. It was my first time meeting her.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense…” Yaz frowned in confusion

“You’re telling me.” The chuckled, with a slight smile creeping up over her lips “We’re both time travellers you see, so we always meet in the wrong order, her future is my past-”

And before the doctor could finish the doors to the Tardis swung open with a bang.

The doctor and Yaz both looked round to see a woman, smartly dressed, red high heels, red lipstick and big bouncy curly hair simply standing there, hands on hip with a big smile smeared across her face.

“Doctor, that looks like the - your wife?” Yaz gulped holding onto the blondes arm a little too tight, she wasn’t entirely sure if it was.

“Hell. In high heels.” Thirteen paused before looking at her friend “Also, Yaz release your grip please.”

“Sorry doctor, and wait, so that IS your-”

“I’m her wife.” The woman from the doors of the Tardis stated “And doctor, how goes the day? You’re looking more amazing than ever, being a woman suits you, never seen you as a woman before.”

The doctor didn’t take a second more not moving, she bolted up to River jumping into her arms, wrapping her whole body around her wife, before grabbing her face and kissing her lips over and over and over again. “I thought I’d never see you again. I thought- River, how are you here?”

“Spoilers Sweetie. I’ll always be here.” River smiled, holding her wife tight in her arms, kissing back hard. “You’ll never lose me darling, Never.”


	2. It's my fault she died - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since the doctor saw her wife and now she was here, standing in front of her, in between life and death.

It took a good few minutes before The Doctor was able to let River go and jump down, after clinging to her body.

"You're a sentimental idiot, you know that." River smirked

"I missed you okay? I thought I'd never see you again-"

"What? Because I sacrificed myself in the library?" River smiled happily, knowing this would be a surprise for her wife, it was the first time in both their lives that their timelines were matching up, and they seemed to have finally met at the right time in their time streams... kind of.

"Hold on - hold up - what do you- how do you know- what?!" The doctor stumbled over her words

"How do I know about the library?”

“But you can't-"

"It’s not possible? And yet I do." River paused as she held her wife's face in her hands "Because I am technically still there my love."

"You went back to the moment you died, didn't you? Like I did with Clara?"

"Exactly. I told you I'd find my way back to you sweetie." River replied in the most flirtatious way she could manage.

Suddenly the doctor threw her hands up the air hitting at River's upper body 

"YOU KILLED YOURSELF IN THAT LIBRARY RIVER! YOU DID THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I DIDN'T CARE IF I WOULD SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU DIED AND I HAD TO WATCH HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!" The doctor cried her heart out.

River grabbed at her wife's arms pulling her into a tight hug and sitting them both on the ground.

Yaz who was still watching suddenly piped up "I'll just leave you two alone, I'll go and put the kettle on, good cup of tea always helps" 

River gave her a nod and with that Yaz went off to the kitchen part of the Tardis to make a cup of tea and grabbed some cream custards, putting them on a plate, waiting for the kettle to boil.

River and the doctor were still sitting on the ground, the doctor was almost on her wife's lap "I hate you!"

"No you don't sweetie, and oi, that's my line" River smirked, running her fingers through the doctors hair as she kissed her head "I'm not sorry for what I did, it had to be done, if you'd of done it we would of never met and I was not going to let you erase that. That was too much heartbreak to take. You couldn't just let me die could you?"

"I don't like endings." The doctor sniffled, sitting up and resting her head on Rivers shoulder. "I had to try"

"I know. You never have, but my love I came back for you, we can spend eternity together, if you so wish."

"I thought I'd lost you for good, do you understand that? And even though I saw you since then, I always knew it was coming for you and had happened for me. I had to not only watch you kill yourself but I had to keep living our lives knowing what was going to happen and not able to tell you...spoilers right?" The doctor sighed, sitting up as Yaz came back in with the tea and cream custards, setting them down next to the two women.

"Do you mind giving us some time Yaz?" The doctor asked

"Sure, I'll just be up in my room if you need me."

"She seems nice." River started frowning as she watched Yaz walk away.

"Stop it." The doctor hit her wifes thigh "She's lovely but just a friend."

"So nothing ever happened between you two?"

"No, never." The doctor tilted her head with a saddened look in her eye

"Why?"

"Do you really not know the answer to that River?"

River just shrugged, shaking her head.

The doctor bought her hand up to her wife's face, caressing her cheek "Because she's not you, my love, she's not you and no-one will ever be you. You're as unique as they come Professor River Song."


End file.
